My Operation: Reduce Stress, and how it's going

8.05.2021

My Operation: Reduce Stress, and how it's going

I am a pretty high stress, busy, ambitious person. I pack a lot into my time and I feel guilty, or like I’m just missing out on opportunities, when I relax. Some of this is just my nature and I will always want to be achieving new things, but my tendency is definitely to overdo it and get too busy so my progress/goals no longer feel positive. People ask me how I do it all--day job, blog and Instagram, podcast, parenting two kids--and the answer is I am just a ball of stress almost all the time.

Always Busy

A little over a month ago after finishing our home office renovation (lots of DIY projects on a short timeline), I just reached a tipping point. I have been working on the chair slipcover and touching up paint every night after the kids went to bed and every spare moment on the weekends for several weeks, not making enough time for my family or myself. On top of all the other stuff I usually have to do. I was so unhappy. I regretted taking on this project, which was a great thing for our house, but the way I did it was just miserable.

The lovely finished room that a lot of stress built

I decided I had to make a big change. It’s easy to do a 360 when something becomes too much, so I initially thought, just no more house projects! Ever! Although that’s not realistic. But I decided I really need to scale it way, way back and just focus on the essential things I need to do, and leave the remainder of the time for rest or buffer.

Doing Less and Being Excited About It

I know that stress comes from both having a long to do list and the way I feel about it. Let me say that again: I’m stressed not only because I have a lot of things to do, but also because of my attitude. So I need to shift both. 

It’s very hard for me, but I know that getting three blog posts a week up or staying 100% on top of the laundry are optional tasks, and nothing bad will happen if I don’t do them all the time. But, reframing everything as part of my larger, ongoing resolution to be less stressed has made it motivating! Like, I am a little bit excited to leave those things for later because then I will... win points? on my operation to be less stressed! I guess I am a driven person and I needed that points to be awarded somewhere. 

It feels really good, too! I’ve been trying to find time each weekend to lay in the hammock, even for only a few minutes. I’m definitely still working on that, but after having all of our weekends this spring busy with things like the office, I am really enjoying and trying to preserve our summer weekends for family time. We recently joined a gym and have been going swimming with the kids on the weekends, which really gets my day started as a weekend day, not just any other day at home. (The days can blend together when you work from home and watch the kids alone one or two days a week so this helps.)

Self Care (So Hard)

I’m also adding things back in, for myself. I recently hung out with a friend and her two little kids who are a little older than Otto. She has been a stay-at-home mom with them and joined a gym that has good childcare. She goes five days a week! She takes an hour class then showers and does whatever because the kids can stay in childcare for two hours. An hour long workout class and a shower? Every day? That sounded so luxurious to me!! Now, I can’t do that exactly because I work four days a week, but my afternoons and evenings with the kids are really tough and Jason doesn’t get home until they’re in bed. I thought maybe I could fit in some gym and childcare time after work! Jason got excited about joining a gym too. 

We joined a small one near us. They're still ramping up their childcare options but Jason and I have been taking turns going to the gym and just that hour or so of time to myself in the weight room feels so, so good.

I've had a few slip-ups the past week or so, which is part of why I wanted to write this post. I'm trying to remember that getting less done is a good thing (in my case). I'm trying to put less on my calendar every day--not fill every evening after work with blog emails and little house projects. Give myself time to shower and get in bed in time. It's hard.

Three Ways to Reduce Stress

I also recently listened to this podcast episode on ways to reduce stress. It's an enjoyable listen (start at 20 mins, 20 seconds in to skip to the stress part) and I really like Miranda's attitude and experience in this topic. (She's a fellow longtime DIY blogger, but she now does so much more than that.) The short of it is the three ways are: lower your expectations, learn to be present, practice gratitude. But I learned from her sharing her experience as another high-energy, high achieving person who used to think stress is an inevitable constant--and is now on the other side.

Well, I have a lot to learn, but I'm making a conscious choice to do less. I also know this isn't the first time I've had a goal like this. It's hard! But I hope to make a big change over the next few months that lasts a long time. 

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DIY & home decor blogging - behind the scenes!

10.09.2018

DIY & home decor blogging - behind the scenes!

I used to share blogging tips, like YEARS ago... things have changed! This week I'm sharing my experience and not just tips--how home decor/DIY bloggers create blog and social media content, how to get featured on a big design site, how home bloggers make money, how bloggers trick you with Instagram’s multiple image swipe feature.. (kidding!)...


Ashley and I are both sharing how we got started and how we do it now, on this week's episode of the Your Home Story podcast!

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The big, big, big news, and welcome!

8.01.2014

The big, big, big news, and welcome!

I have some big news. At least, it feels like, like, really big news. Almost as big as the fact that I started this blog, or am writing a book, or got married, or bought our house, or...

Well, you’ll just have to read and see what I mean. (Or, skip to the summary at the end if you don’t have time for all these words!)

Niche blogging veteranhood

I’ve had this blog since October 2009, so 4 years and 9 months. When I started my blog I spent my (for a while ample) free time sewing and decorating our apartment, and I dove into the blog world in those topics. I had just finished grad school, worked part time while trying to get a job in my field, and had just moved in to a new apartment with my then-boyfriend, now-husband. My life was very different. I was so excited to improve my sewing and DIY decorating skills while outfitting my home and having all the dresses I wanted, and get share my projects with the world!

But for a while now I've had a hard time publishing that type of content, for a combination of reasons. I’m busy, enjoying my day job, not having as much spare time to sew as I used to, caring much more about other interests like health and nutrition, wanting to spend my time weight lifting or trying new recipes, being tired of having a closet of homemade dresses I don't wear, getting off medication and gaining so much weight so fast I can't wear most of them anyway... all in all, a little discouraged and not feeling the love and energy for my sewing blog that I used to.

But, I’ve been a sewing blogger for almost 5 years; it’s what I do! I’m in my routine of design, cut out, sew, photograph, write about, promote – for dresses and pillows and whatever else I make, even if I don’t need them very much or really feel like sewing every single Saturday morning.

But I really am busier these days, and I’m not posting 5 or 6 days/week like I did a couple years ago, and I don’t have the time to participate in every pattern tour or blog theme series that I might like to.

Although it’s also about how I choose to spend the free time I do have. And I realized a couple weeks ago that I'm pushing myself and pushing myself to keep my blog going, but to what end?! I know the internet can tell when my heart's not in it anymore anyway. But for a while now I’ve been beating myself up about not having endless energy for blogging about something I don't spend as much time doing and loving all the time. It's almost like I felt like I need to justify not making something new every week, despite the fact that it can be exhausting and wasteful and I know I want to do other things with my time.

So why don’t I just blog about something else more often?

Well, that’s one thought. Yes, this blog has grown and changed with me over the years, but I’ve still been feeling trapped by the name and narrow focus. I know I can share anything I want, and there are plenty of blogs with names that have nothing to do with the content, but I wanted to find a name and space that really fit me and the things I care about. As you can tell from my About page, I love a of things besides sewing – I love making things and feeling creative, but I also love enjoying time in my home.

Moving on

So a couple months ago, I decided it was time for a change. After years of sewing and being a DIYer and feeling the pressure to make stuff, I need to spend time to sit around and enjoy what I've made, and learn that there's no shame in relaxing and doing nothing on my Saturday morning but reading and petting the cat. That has been a big learning experience for me, a pretty type A, busy person, and I'm happier when I find time for myself.

But how to fundamentally change the blog I’ve built, but also keep that sewing and DIY content I’m proud of, but also give myself a venue to share the things I’m truly passionate about in the present? Sometimes that's sewing and making things, but there are lots of other non-DIY things I love, too.

Once or twice I've I felt discouraged and frustrated and felt the urge to quit blogging entirely, but I don't think I would be happy just doing all the things I like to do--it's always been part of my personality to want to share things I'm excited about.

So I knew that I still wanted to have a blog, even if it's not a strictly sewing blog. But what blog would it be? What would it be called?

One name stood out to me, based on something my mom used to tell me about how we need to balance producing and consuming. I.e., watch TV for a while to recharge your batteries, but then go sew something or do something in the garden and make something better. Produce some, consume some. I turned this idea into a name - create/enjoy. Create new, beautiful things in the world; but then also slow down and appreciate them!

So this new blog was born. Create/Enjoy: A DIY blog for a happier life. Over the weekend I'll be changing over all my blog info and accounts (most of my social media accounts are not changing, since they are my name, suzannahstanley, but the buttons at the top right of my blog will work.) By Monday, when look up in your address bar, regardless of how you got here, you’ll see the new URL, and below that the new header. From now on when you visit my blog (or any of my old posts or pages) you’ll find yourself on the new blog, same post or page.

It’s been a good run

I’ve made a lot of things in the past 4 years and 9 months, and learned a TON. I’ve made:

• 119 dresses (by my quick count - I think I missed a few - and I can't even begin to count the other garments) including my wedding dress and my 5 bridesmaids' dresses
• Oodles of pillow covers and curtains
• A big handful of spray paint home decor projects (I didn't know how to use spray paint before blogging!)
• Several recipes I'm proud of, as I've found the right foods for me and learned to cook

And while my house will probably never be 100% full and I’ll probably always find something new that I want to make myself, I sure do feel like I can slow down. This blog change will give me permission to do that while keeping in touch with you!

It's scary to do something new!

I'm excited, but and I'll miss this home I've had for so long, thinking of Adventures in Dressmaking as my place online. It still is, I guess (all my dress posts can be found here; all my sewing posts here), but it's still not like it used to be.

I have a lot of emotions about this, actually. As you can see...

I feel optimistic!, a little concerned about how the switch-over will go, definitely a little stressed about what I need to do and what will happen, but then mostly I feel excited and happy that I get to share more, broader, more current-to-my life content with you all!!

Not all my current readers sew, although I imagine the majority do. I’m sorry if you’re bummed that I won’t be sharing almost exclusively sewing and home décor content anymore, but really, the variety of content I do share will be better because I’m excited about it! Sometimes that’s sewing, when I have time and a reason, but sometimes it’s something completely unrelated to creating something new! There are loads of other sewing-only blogs out there that you can read if you want sewing inspiration only, but I’d love to have you stick around for the other stuff I share, too.

But the thing is, now I spend my free time on other things besides just sewing, but I know all of my readers also do things other than sew 24/7. So I’m sure we have plenty of other interests in common, too!

(And feel free to ask me any questions you may have! I publish this blog so YOU can read it, so I do like to know what you’re thinking and wondering!)

Thank you!

I am so grateful for the friends and community I've found and developed while writing this blog and working with other bloggers. I love supporting local businesses and talented artists/photographers while sharing my passions with you! I hope to do more of that in the future.

The Cliff’s Notes version

If you didn’t read all that, I don’t blame you. So in summary… I’m rebranding this blog to switch my focus and keep my blogging energy up. After nearly 5 years of writing primarily about sewing, I've realized what I'm passionate about now includes so much more than my typical content of sewing, DIYs, and home decor. It’s hard to blog about a topic you’re not surrounded by and enthralled by anymore! Plus, I've learned how important finding balance and low-stress time is, rather than go-go-go-must be productive all the time, which is how I was for years, and creating new things for my home and wardrobe is no longer a priority for me.

Adventures in Dressmaking will be rebranded with a new message and name (Create/Enjoy), about how I balance creating the things I need and taking the time to actually use them rather than filling my life with more things. I'll still share some sewing content when I am so inspired, but also real food recipes, travel, and reflections about becoming a happier person. I hope to use lots of beautiful photography (mine and from a few local photographer friends I'm partnering with) and write high quality original content about the variety of things I'm interested in. I won't take down any of my old sewing posts and the blog will look largely the same, except the new header and maybe a few new elements. Readers who go to  www.adventuresindressmaking.com will be automatically redirected to www.create-enjoy.com.

That's it! Welcome!

Above all, WELCOME to the new blog! I hope to see you around lots!

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Four new fave simple food/close-up photography tips

5.09.2014

Four new fave simple food/close-up photography tips

Aaah, food photography - it can be so amazing when done well, but it's so hard to do on your own! At least, it's a fun challenge when I try and capturing the perfect shot often eludes me. So I was excited to get to listen to the food/close-up photography break-out group at the recent Portland Bloggers specialized photography workshop!

The event was taught by three local photographers (Margaret Jacobsen Photography, Linnea Paulina Photography, and Aubrie LeGault Photography) and was hosted by Favery and Elli, local co-companies with a great space in the Pearl District and great stuff to share with bloggers for photography!

We broke out into groups for 1) close-up/food photography, and 2) fashion/style/portrait photography (outside), then came back in for a panel with general blog photography questions. There was SO much great information passed around,. but I took a few notes of highlights to share with you!

I attended the food/close-up workshop taught by Linnea and Aubrie. They both have done some amaaaaazing styled work, seriously - so grateful to hear their wisdom!!

And here you have 4 of my biggest take-aways from the workshop: 4 of my favorite simple food/close-up photography tips! About styling, lighting, composition, and capturing the shot!

Styling

• Make your own backdrops with $1 foam boards and any fabric or paper you like. You can easily change them out if you get tired of them, or use the same ones for your common photo subjects or Instagram photos for a consistent look.
• Secure them to a chair or something nearby with clamps! (Why have I never thought of that before?)

Lighting

• Reflectors are great, but you can also use the $1 foam boards to bounce light off!
• Use reflectors/foam boards to hide glare, add light, and remove shadow. (Note that they also remove dimension with the shadow, so that may not always be the look you're going for.)
• Silver or gold reflectors amplify a white reflector/board - add aluminum foil to your homemade board one one side to give yourself the option. Gold shine instead of silver adds warmth to your shots.

Composition/Setting Up the Shot

• Think about the rule of thirds and negative space when setting up the shot. It doesn't need to be too busy - the negative space will really emphasize the subject.
• Add life and a dynamic element to your photo with intentional props that go with the food. For example, don't show ingredients that aren't in the recipe you're capturing. And, remember that food is usually eaten with utensils or napkins, so put some of these logical companions in the shot. 
• Don't over-prop, though, and take the focus away from the subject.

Capturing the Shot

• Play with depth of field and use different depths in frame. Don't line it all up in a straight line, the same way you wouldn't stand flat against a wall for a lively portrait.
• Also add life and interest to the shot by changing it up mid-shoot. Food is imperfect, so elements like crumbs are realistic and dynamic. (Half-eaten food looks appealing!)

After the presentation, everyone got a chance to play around with the props. Here's a behind-the-scenes of shots like these being captured!

Elli styled the lovely table for us. Amazing what a little perspective, lighting, and styling can do for the setup, right?! Aubrie's photos above are inspiring!

Here's to trying out some of these tips soon! I'm sure there will be more tips from the workshop on the Portland Bloggers blog soon, too!

Close-ups by Aubrie LeGault Photography.

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How to Wear DIY: The confusing fur scarf, and goal-setting

1.31.2014

How to Wear DIY: The confusing fur scarf, and goal-setting

I pulled out the new DIY faux fur scarf last weekend and tried it belted! Like some of my inspirations for it. I got dressed upstairs but the scarf was downstairs, so husband thought my outfit was complete until I got to the coat closet and put on the scarf, and wrapped my belt around it--he was very confused. Apparently men are not open to the idea of belted furry scarves. Poor guy, has to deal with my clothing experimenting.

I wore this fun, multi-textured outfit to the Portland Bloggers January event--goal-setting and brainstorming to kick off the year right with some blogging inspiration! I'm the group's Educational Events Chair, so had a hand in planning this one!

As you can see (bottom right), I got pretty into it.

All photos by Macey

Jenni did a great job, as usual, putting together the graphics and printables (free printable blog planner!), and she and I led part of the session while Kayla and Bee led another group. We did a January blog goal setting event last January as well, so it was neat to check back with many attendees who were at both!, and we had a ton of new people, as well.

Oh, January in Oregon. The time for fair aisle sweaters is pretty much over but we still want to be cozy! Hence the multiple layers and faux fur scarf.

Jacket: J.Crew via Goodwill. Shirt: c/o Lucky Brand. Faux leather skirt: Target. Necklace: F21. Watch: Ross. 

Belt: Target via Goodwill. Shoes: Land's End Canvas. Scarf: DIY, tutorial here!

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So Martha Stewart doesn't like bloggers--does that mean me?

10.18.2013

So Martha Stewart doesn't like bloggers--does that mean me?

Back in the day I used to really respect Martha Stewart. Before blogs, before TheKnot, even before Domino was around the first time, I used to really get inspired looking through my mom's Martha Stewart Living magazine. She created a successful brand and spread her message, knowledge, and class around the world, and I totally respect that.

But, it's been a few years since I've spent much time looking at her recipes or projects, since most of them are similar to what I see in the blog world, anyway. Of course I wasn't too impressed with the whole insider trading thing, and I read an interview with her in the magazine on a flight recently where she talked about the 5 cell phones she caries with her at all times--I was a little turned off.

But, I keep an open mind and don't have a strong opinion one way or the other. So I was more puzzled than anything to hear about Martha's anti-blogger comments this week.

Martha bashes bloggers

If you've spent much time on Twitter or some of your favorite blogs this week, you may be aware that on Tuesday Martha spoke out against "bloggers" in a Bloomberg News video. When asked if she feels social media is in "poor taste"...

Here's the quote.

"I do have a minor gripe about that, too, because who are these bloggers? They're not trained editors and writers at Vogue magazine. I mean, there are bloggers writing recipes that aren't tested, that aren't necessarily very good or are copies of everything that really good editors have created and done. Bloggers create kind of a popularity. But they are not the experts and we have to understand that."

Bloggers bite back

Luckily, there've been a bunch of great responses out there--very well-said, blogging community. You really can write!

• This LA Times piece said, what about the bloggers who seriously are experts in cooking, fashion, lifestyle...? Classically trained chefs and designers blog too, you know...
• This piece on BlogHer points out that um, bloggers ARE experts in many things, blogging included. We are all accountable to each other and our readers and we won't succeed if we're not good at what we do and write about. Also, Martha, you really should have said to bloggers, "THANK YOU for appreciating me all these years and sharing my content!"
• This piece on Babble says that, yep, Martha's audience has turned to blogs, the "non-experts" instead of her magazine for our ideas and instructions, but that makes bloggers the experts in what readers want to know, from an everyday person perspective--polls show that women trust bloggers the most for information.

And it gets me thinking--I understand that "bloggers" are not necessarily "experts" in what we write about, Martha. But your comments sound an awful lot like something you would say if you were threatened by the influence of a wave of young, do-it-ourselves, saavy and inspired group of people doing the 2013 version of what you did many years ago. Yes, we have it a lot easier in some ways--we can publish our material in our pajamas no matter how good it is--but it's no cakewalk for us, either. You paved the way, and we dream of someday being as influential as you with our own messages.

I think I know what's really going on here. You've put in the work and you resent that we young, "untrained," middle-class folk can sit at home and create something for ourselves, while you've worked all these years to create your empire and now your magazine sales are slumping (big downturn from 2007 to 2012) because none of us need your magazines for Halloween costume or wedding dress inspiration anymore. I understand that it's frustrating, and I see why you might be jealous. But please get back to working with us, not against us, and don't trash talk us and make yourself sound ignorant--and it wasn't even really on-topic!!

So is Martha's critical mistake that she discounts bloggers as non-experts, or that readers want to hear from non-experts??

Martha likes bloggers?

She has worked with bloggers before. So this whole thing is super confusing, because Martha seems to like bloggers on the outside; she has Martha's Circle of influencers; she spoke at the BlogHer conference in 2012, she hosted Alt Summit 2013, her project American Made supports Esty shop owners... (Design Mom wrote this piece about how she's seen Martha's admiration for bloggers in the past.) So who I want to know from her, too--who are the bloggers she's talking about??!?!?

And she has since apologized on Twitter, which is pretty much as public an apology as you can get these days if you're Martha Stewart and have 2.9 million Twitter followers.

Yes, who are these bloggers?

If what she cares about is the amount of expertise bloggers have, who all is she talking about?

Does she mean she a cooking blog who knocks off her pâte sablée recipe and calls it their own? Because I understand being frustrated about that, too--when someone copies my tutorial or doesn't credit me for a photo, I get a little miffed. Yes, blogging is a new kind of media and there are a lot of kinks to work out. But her quote makes it sound like she's saying, any blogger anywhere (in food, fashion, or lifestyle) is not to be trusted and does not have good taste.

But does she dislike me because I didn't go to school for fashion design, and yet I publish photo tutorials? And I try recipes and tweak them and share them, along with my editorial comments? And I wear clothes I've made and post photos of my outfits?

Honestly, that sounds like what a blog is supposed to do. Not a professionally published magazine or book or TV show--bloggers share real-life content that is relatable for readers in a way that wasn't possible 30 years ago. Back then a non-celebrity getting a moment in the spotlight to share a project was even more special, but we still haven't lost our desire for girl-next-door stories and real-time content.

A blog is not a book

I'll still refer to Martha or Julia or Anthony Bourdain if I want a classic Boeuf Bourguignon recipe, and I'll still buy a book about upholstery or carpentry or something very detailed and hard, but I look to my friends and community of peers in the blog world for pretty much everything else. I love getting inspiration from the push-button publishers of the world, because they're not classically trained experts but they're people like me.

Sorry, Martha. I don't expect to be buying your magazine soon. I respect you for what you've created, but I also respect individuals who put their content out there on their own and who don't have 600 employees carrying out their vision. Those bloggers sound a lot more like me when I try to make a nice dish for a party, and I probably could learn a lot from "experts" and bloggers alike.

So what do you think? Why do you read blogs? Do you think bloggers ARE experts, or is our amateurism what makes us interesting? And, in general, are you pro- or anti-Martha?!

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