The Big Announcement

I have butterflies as I write this! I've been looking forward to writing this post for years now and here I am, nervous! So many emotions.

We're having a baby.

It's been a long journey for us, though not as long and challenging as for some people and for that I am very grateful. Gratitude and excitement are the main things I feel right now and I try to focus on the gratitude when things are hard, and I go to bed at 7:30 and feel like crap a lot of the time. (Although now at 13 weeks, it's soooo much better than it was in the middle of the first trimester. Again, grateful.)


I listen to birth story podcasts, read Instagram posts about motherhood, and sometimes get emotional looking at maternity shoots. It's an exciting time! But not all sunshine and daises.

Jason is SO happy and excited, too. Although since he started his physical therapy doctoral program a couple weeks after we found out and when my morning sickness really reared up, it's been hard to find time with him. He comes home at 6:30 and I get sleepy and really gross-feeling less than an hour later. Then he studies on the weekends and I lay on the couch. No, it's gotten much better than that lately, but still, I don't have the energy I used to. 

The past 7 weeks or so have been pretty humbling. I used to not understand how people could be so tired in the first trimester, just completely abandon working out and cooking and errands. But that's exactly what I did. I just let the dishes pile up in the sink and was too tired to care. I came home from work and laid on the bed and was too tired and icky to even look at my phone sometimes. Blah. I can't imagine doing this with a toddler running around too, but I know so many people do it and have an even harder time than I did. I admire moms SO much more than I understood before and imagine that awe and admiration will just continue.

Jason and I both have had our own varieties of anxiety around the whole baby thing for a long, long time now and it has been a wonderful feeling to have it finally happening.

The first couple weeks after I found out, I was feeling awesome and so positive about it but we hadn't been to the midwife yet or heard the heartbeat... and I realized I might feel guilty if I had an easy, healthy pregnancy, when so many people struggle to get and stay pregnant. My parents had years of challenges with that which is why I'm an only child, and I didn't even begin to understand until recently when I was longing to become a mom myself how painful that might be. I was worried it might take us a long time, and when it didn't... well, I worried about that, too.

A friend of mine who has two young kids told me a couple months ago, when I told her we were thinking about trying, that when I finally did get to become a mom, I'd be so grateful and happy about it that I might enjoy it more and be more patient and less stressed. I HOPE that's true!!

Having had this experience the past ~9 weeks since we found out, I'm beginning to see tiny glimpses of what moms everywhere have gone through and wow, I am just so in awe. I'm nervous for the next, well, 18 years. I imagine it will be very hard at times. I hope it goes really well, and I hope I can work hard and feel deserving and proud as well as grateful.

First-time motherhood advice welcome!

And, I hope to share more (nursery decor progress?!?) as things go--subscribe by email (sidebar on the right below my book image) to get updates as I share them!

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